OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
