i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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