yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
