she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize