There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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