so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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