I skipped work to stalk him.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm at about main and main street
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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