that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
