I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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