And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
