just come out here and I will go home with you...
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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