end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
