I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
