before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
