she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
