She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
