someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
