I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
