he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm having to shit out rocks
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