He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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