she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
My life is pants optional.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
