His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
