im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
