And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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