Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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