1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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