so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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