Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
