Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye

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(712): View more from Iowa

Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.

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(308): View more from Nebraska

Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days

(1-308): View more from Nebraska

Are you goin to rehab again?

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(519): View more from Ontario

No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.

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(707): View more from California

We are horrible

(1-707): View more from California

Yeah but we're also awesome

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(773): View more from Illinois

Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.

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