Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
