You really coming over, don't trick.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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