you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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