I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Is it penis luge time yet?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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