my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
