No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
