i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
