I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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