Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
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Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
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My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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