Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
it glows. i had to have it.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Randomize
