Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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