Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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