Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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