That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
