cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
