I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
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All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
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she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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