So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
