I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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