I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
