Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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