I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Can you rollerblade?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?