its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
