One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
