I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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