that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
