I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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