i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
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