Kiss
Puke
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
smell my finger.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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