I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
