This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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