Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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