I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
